Parental Conflict Impedes Reunification

The trauma of parental conflict holds children in abeyance.  How can they build healthy relationships with either parent?  They are put in the position of defending one or defending self or mediating arguments or punishing a parent.  Sometimes they shut down.  Sometimes they self-destruct.  Sometimes they refuse to see one parent and the other blames everyone but self.

Give kids a chance. Stop fighting with the other parent.  If you don’t know how to do that, get help and learn communication tools and how to manage your own reactivity. Don’t engage with the parent who, so far, cannot approach problems from a sound psychological position.  Model power to change and in doing so, teach your child how to attend to self, recognize and control emotions, resolve the past, refrain from arguments based on what is fair, separate emotions from situations, and manage anger.

Withdraw from conflict.  That is the foundation of co-parenting.  Relieve your children from having to make a choice between mom or dad and from taking the place of “parent” in a dysfunctional, conflict-ridden family.

Make an appointment.  Learn to walk away from debilitating conflict and regain fulfilling relationship with your children.