Stop the conflict

Children suffer when their parents remain locked in high conflict. They are caught in the middle of their parents’ conflict which is extremely damaging to children’s well-being.  As parents, our goal should be to reduce the conflict through parental cooperation, negotiation, mediation, and the development of parenting plans.  However these suggestions only work with both parents agree to participate.  What do you do when one the other parent refuses to stop the battle?

  1. You can provide a warm, secure, honest, dependable and supportive relationship with your child.
  2. You can refuse to argue.
  3. You can find intermediaries to help in communication and transportation.
  4. You can limit your messages and texts and phone calls to the bare minimum.
  5. You can modulate your voice so as to be polite.
  6. You can refuse blame and point the finger.
  7. You can let go of the past and get help to do so if that is too elusive.
  8. You can refrain from interference in the other parent’s custodial time.
  9. You can take responsibility to know your court orders and follow them.
  10. You can refuse to complain or criticize about your ex-partner, EVER.
  11. You can remain focused on your child, enhancing your attunement to their needs.
  12. You can separate your previous marital hostilities from your ongoing parenting.
  13. You can shield your child from persistent and unresolved conflict that is dangerous for your child.

Conflict reduces over time when we are dedicated to eliminating it from our lives. You can reach out to therapeutic family mediation, parent education programs, and parenting coordination. Studies more and more indicate that parents who are fighting are not capable of emotionally caring for their children. Children, victims of this conflict, are highly prone to suffering maladjustment.  Children caught in parental conflict, even pervasive underlying conflict and resentment between parents as anxiety.  This feeling manifests itself in a variety of ways including physical aggression, sleep disorders, bed wetting, becoming sexually active prematurely, poor grades, truancy and disassociation.  Even more alarming, it appears that many children of high conflict custody cases develop attachment disorders that leave them unable to form friendships with others in fear of being abandoned. In other words parents in high conflict neglected children and they feel abandoned.

Commit today to stopping the violence and fighting with your ex-partner and give your child a safe and secure environment.